Your looking through the pictures on a popular dating site and come across a sexy girl you like. You look at her profile and think, ‘wow, we got things in common’.

So what do you do now? The first email you send to her is probably the most important email, because, if she doesn’t reply, you don’t get a date

So what do you put in your first email? From personal experience, this comes down to science, art and confidence - especially art! I’ve read about guys on dating sites that use the same ‘first email’ time and time again with huge success. Where did this ‘first email’ come from?

Well, over a period of time, through alot of trial and error, they have developed a simple email, probably just a few paragraphs long (maybe three), that conveys a positive, interesting image of them-selves - this is important!

Anyone can do this. As you test it on different girls, you can fine tune it. Also, it just becomes a simple template that you can modify to suit other girls’ profiles. Remember your goal is to get a date, so you can get to know her better.

Here’s two examples I’ve used in the past which proved to be fairly successful.

“Hi Jane,

I quickly glanced at your pic – hey cute – and spent some time looking at your profile. Wow, we got a few things in common, especially working in the local community! I spend some free time helping out at the local youth centre, it gives me such a good feeling.

Have a look my profile and I’m sure you’ll get in touch ;-) Anyway, have a nice day.

Jack.”

“Hey Paula,

Quickly checked your profile and picture this morning and noticed you live London. Wot a great city! Never been there but heard so much about it. Perhaps it would be a great place to meet?

I’ve worked in a number of cities around the world, especially in Europe. Wonderful part of the world! I was a student but just got my first job as a graphic designer – exciting stuff.

Have you been to Europe?

Jack”

Some info about creating your first successful email:-

• It must be positive – no negativity at all!


• Keep it simple, about two paragraphs (no more)– she does not want to read your life story!


• If you can, add a little bit of humour. In the email above I use ‘and I’m sure you’ll get in touch – wink wink’. It’s a touch cheeky and humorous.


• Never brag! It's a BIG turn off for women - modesty and honesty is best policy!


• Make your-self sound interesting - everyone is interesting to some degree. No-one wants to meet a bore!


• Don’t focus too much on her looks, show more interest in her profile.

Your ‘flicking’ through the pictures on a dating site and come across a hunky guy you like. You look at his profile and think, ‘wow, we got lots of things in common’. So what do you do now? The first email you send to him is probably the most important email, because, if he doesn’t reply, you don’t get a date. Some girls don't like making the first move, I think this is a bit old-fashioned. If you like some guy's profile, email him!

So what do you put in your first email? From experience, this comes down to science and art! I’ve read about guys on dating sites that use the same ‘first email’ time and time again with huge success. Where did this ‘first email’ come from?

Well, over a period of time, through trial and error, they have developed a simple email, probably just a few paragraphs long, that conveys a positive, interesting image of them-selves.

You can do this too. As you test it on different guys, you can fine tune it. Also, it just becomes a template that you can modify to suit other guys’ profiles. Remember your goal is to get a date, so you can get to know him better.

Here’s two emails that I received in the past, which I responded to.

“Hello Jack,

I like your profile and picture. Hope your not Jack-the-lad type ;-)

Your profile suggests you work freelance? I do too. Makes life more interesting. I've been freelancing for about two years and really enjoy it. Tell me more Jack.

Louise.”

“Morning Jack,

Browsing the dating site last night and YOU caught my eye! Didn't have chance to reply. You sound quite interesting. I gather you travel a lot, so do I. It can be quite tiring sometimes. What do you like doing in your spare time?

Looking forward to hearing from you. A prompt reply would be appreciated. x

Speak soon Jane.”

Some tips about creating your first email:

• It must be positive – no negativity!


• Keep it simple, about two paragraphs.


• If you can, add a little bit of humour - men love it!


• Make your-self sound interesting. No-one wants to meet a bore!


• Don’t focus too much on his looks, show more interest in his profile

Tell us your beefs about online dating and internet dating sites...

"I would like to moan about the size of the men on these sights [you mean sites]. They reckon they are tall, but when you get to meet them they little men! lets have some genunely [genuinely] tall men, with tools they can actually do something with!!" S. Clewer

Hmm! You've obviously met the wrong men! Perhaps your luck might change! Your a demanding girl, eh?

"I'd like to complain about the cost of dating online. It's not cheap for unemployed people. I've tried the free dating sites but they are not much good. Met one person off their once and he looked well dodgy! I think the price should come down. It is too expensive!" Paula

Have you considered getting a job? Dating site fees are likely to fall with growing competition. And competition is growing monthly. A future article will provide some tips on getting the most out of dating sites on a tight budget.

"Hi, I read your Latest Dating News column about 'niche dating sites' and you say at the bottom, 'What about men seeking lap-dancers'. What about women seeking male strippers?" R. France

AdultFriendFinder comes to mind!

"Hi Internet Dating Guide, I've used the services of a few online dating websites, and found that the matchmaking system is to general and vague which has lead to numerous people contacting me without us having anything in common other than being human! Can't they improve it?" K.L. USA

Interesting question. I think in time this is exactly what will happen: members will be matched more specifically and accurately by an AI - artificial intelligence based - system. I've been in your position many times.

"Hi, many of the popular online dating websites don't allow communication via webcam, why is this? Are they slow at catching on to the latest technology?"

In the future, this will certainly happen. At the moment there potential technological and legal issues to be resolved before this becomes widespread.