Online Dating: What Men Want

When it comes to dating online or off, men looking for women to date or fall in love with usually have certain qualities they find attractive in a woman. The list of desirable traits can be long, but usually a few items stand out across the board --

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Here’s a couple of sites that don’t charge women for joining but do charge men a low fee.

Girlsdateforfree: "Online dating in the UK, sign up for free, meet people online, find an internet penpal or chat with 1000s of singles"

This is a frre dating site in the UK for women that, apparently, does not charge for girls. But I have not joined or know any one that can vouch that it is totally free!

In terms of internet dating, what is ‘relationship dating’? Well, it’s surprisingly simple! It’s all about meeting people off internet dating sites with the intention of developing meaningful relationships and not simply having casual or discreet affairs.

I suspect, in the majority of cases, this applies to more mature and experienced people, as casual dating loses its appeal after a while.

In fact some internet dating websites are touting their sites as the ideal places to meet sincere and committed people interested in long-term relationships.

One example of such a site is PerfectMatch. This website was featured in the movie Must Love Dogs.

Here’s some text from the site: “PerfectMatch.com is a community of singles serious about finding love and lasting relationships. It utilizes the Duet personality profiler test developed by Dr. Pepper Schwartz.”

So, if you’re looking for a long-lasting relationship, perhaps this dating site may be the best place to start.

Your ‘flicking’ through the pictures on a dating site and come across a hunky guy you like. You look at his profile and think, ‘wow, we got lots of things in common’. So what do you do now? The first email you send to him is probably the most important email, because, if he doesn’t reply, you don’t get a date. Some girls don't like making the first move, I think this is a bit old-fashioned. If you like some guy's profile, email him!

So what do you put in your first email? From experience, this comes down to science and art! I’ve read about guys on dating sites that use the same ‘first email’ time and time again with huge success. Where did this ‘first email’ come from?

Well, over a period of time, through trial and error, they have developed a simple email, probably just a few paragraphs long, that conveys a positive, interesting image of them-selves.

You can do this too. As you test it on different guys, you can fine tune it. Also, it just becomes a template that you can modify to suit other guys’ profiles. Remember your goal is to get a date, so you can get to know him better.

Here’s two emails that I received in the past, which I responded to.

“Hello Jack,

I like your profile and picture. Hope your not Jack-the-lad type ;-)

Your profile suggests you work freelance? I do too. Makes life more interesting. I've been freelancing for about two years and really enjoy it. Tell me more Jack.

Louise.”

“Morning Jack,

Browsing the dating site last night and YOU caught my eye! Didn't have chance to reply. You sound quite interesting. I gather you travel a lot, so do I. It can be quite tiring sometimes. What do you like doing in your spare time?

Looking forward to hearing from you. A prompt reply would be appreciated. x

Speak soon Jane.”

Some tips about creating your first email:

• It must be positive – no negativity!


• Keep it simple, about two paragraphs.


• If you can, add a little bit of humour - men love it!


• Make your-self sound interesting. No-one wants to meet a bore!


• Don’t focus too much on his looks, show more interest in his profile

We've also asked dozens of men what they want from a women in every area of a romantic relationship! Their responses may surprise some women. We'll also update this section when we find time.

"One thing I can't stand is nagging! I realise how important it is to spend time and effort in developing a relationship, but, for me, I also need to spend time with friends. So I have to balance all relationships. But most girlfriends to date have complained about the amount of time I spend with friends. I suspect it comes down to the quality of the relationship. In the past, I have spent more time with partners that were also very good friends. So I think developing a deep friendship with a partner is essential to a long-lasting and happy relationship." Paul K., UK

"Women like a lot of affection. In fact, they love affection; as much as possible from my experience. But some women don't realize that men like affection as well. It's a two-way process. Tenderness is one of women's greatest assets. I believe it is there innate key to win a man's heart. And when they naturally express their tenderness it gives a guy such a great feeling. Women should do this more often and they will be very surprised at how they can influence partner's behaviour." Steve, USA

Tell us your beefs about online dating and internet dating sites...

"I would like to moan about the size of the men on these sights [you mean sites]. They reckon they are tall, but when you get to meet them they little men! lets have some genunely [genuinely] tall men, with tools they can actually do something with!!" S. Clewer

"I'd like to complain about the cost of dating online. It's not cheap for unemployed people. I've tried the free dating sites but they are not much good. Met one person off their once and he looked well dodgy! I think the price should come down. It is too expensive!" Paula

"Hi, I read your Latest Dating News column about 'niche dating sites' and you say at the bottom, 'What about men seeking lap-dancers'. What about women seeking male strippers?" R. France

"Hi Internet Dating Guide, I've used the services of a few online dating websites, and found that the matchmaking system is to general and vague which has lead to numerous people contacting me without us having anything in common other than being human! Can't they improve it?" K.L. USA

"Hi, many of the popular online dating websites don't allow communication via webcam, why is this? Are they slow at catching on to the latest technology?"